Expert of None

It’s always warming when things seem to line up perfectly, like somehow the world is watching and it was meant to be. I’m of course talking about the start of this blog. This has been something I’ve been throwing around for such a long time now, I just could never work up the courage to make myself do it. But that was just it, there was no forcing this. It had to be natural, poetic, really. Like the stuff movies are made of, you know, kid is sitting around reflecting on his life, only to realize that he hasn’t done everything he wanted.

Okay, maybe not that extreme…

But you get the point. Going back to why this is so fitting for me to start my blog when I did (I tend to ramble, stay with me). As soon as I started this puppy up, I was immediately overwhelmed.

“How will I even get back into the habit of writing?!”

“What will I even write about?”

“I’m really not even that interesting…”

Sure enough, as fate would have it, I stumbled upon DailyPosts. They give me daily prompts, actually just a word, to write about. You can take it however you want, but it gives you somewhere to start. And here we are.

Today’s prompt? Expert.

This has been something that has been on my mind so much lately. Just like every other average Joe, I binge watched the Olympics like it was my job. Watching these amazing athletes do what they do was breathtaking. They were the best in the world, experts. It made my mind race, it made my heart pound. It made me anxious. What was I an expert in? Am I an expert in anything?

So I want you all to picture this with me. I’m a 20-something year old, sitting on the couch, watching these teenagers and other 20-something year olds going for gold and representing their country. This is some deep stuff.

I started to go through every single bit of my life, over analyzing every single skill I possess. And if I’m being completely honest with you, I couldn’t think of a single thing that I could confidently say I’m an expert in. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to think I’m good at certain things, heck, even amazing. But expert? Nope. Not here.

How could I not be an expert in ANYTHING?! But the more I thought about, the more it came to me. As 20-something year old’s, we’re conditioned to believe that by now, we should have it all figured out. Look, I get it. I get why we’re conditioned this way. Think about it. Who were we raised by? The generation that truly did have it figured out by now. The ones that raised us were the ones that had to have a skill that they were the best at, experts, to survive. They come from the time that a trade was more valuable than a college degree. Now they have kids that are at the stage in life where they should only really be at the beginning stages of becoming “experts” at what they do, but instead are beating themselves up because they aren’t experts at anything.

I’m not here trying to say that I was raised wrong, not at all. What I am saying is that there’s a lot of pressure to be the absolute best. To be the greatest there ever was at everything you do. Should we all strive to be the G.O.A.T. at everything we do? ABSOLUTELY. Is it normal, and dare I say okay, to not be in your mid 20s? Abso-freaking-lutely. I have to constantly remind myself that I’m still so young. That there is so much life to live. That right now is the time for me to take in everything that this beautiful world has to offer to help me be the best human possible.

So go out there and try different things. Go out there and fall on your face. Ball your eyes out and waste an entire day away. Because it’s okay to fail. It’s okay not to stick to one thing forever. It’s okay to just be an expert in being you. At the end of the day, the love you have for yourself is the only thing that matters.

I promise not to make all of my blogs so scatter brained. But, welcome to life with brown.

 

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